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hey I'm good! how are you? where have you been lol?
yes, but send it on a message because sometimes it cuts off the message on wall posts.
I'm not busy at all. I can help you. :)
I get emails when I get posts on my wall, so I just logged back in. :) What do you need help with?
If you have any tips on speaking Korean more naturally, that can help. Or basically anything that will improve my Korean helps. :)
XD I'm happy to help. Plus, I was in Honors English 2 and am currently working on the assignments to be in Honors English 3, so I am always here to help. :)
The first paragraph seems pretty good, The wording on the last sentence is a little odd, but it makes sense.
In the second paragraph, "which shows the separated Germany in the past." can be better understood like this " where Germany was once seperated into two sides." And "Everyone knows that Nazis invaded most of countries in Europe and slaughtered jewish people." Is a little blunt, but if you say something along the lines of "Everyone knows about the Holocaust, when German soldiers, "Nazis", slaughtered thousands of European Jewish families under Hitlers rein of power.", it makes you seem like you know a lot of information about the Holocaust. (I've studied German history and The Holocaust for a while now.)
The third paragraph, you spelled Hamburg differently in a few sentences, but it's probably a typing error. Also, the last 2 sentences can be worded differently to make more sense if you say "Hamburg is well known as being the second largest city in Germany as well as being a harbor-city. Since it is a harbor city, you are able to ride on boats and cruise ships where they show you the nightlife around Hamburg's famous places." (You don't have to change it like I said to, that's just how I would write it if it was my own presentation.)
In the fourth paragraph, it all seems good except there was a typo on the word Luebeck. And what is a lack? Do you mean lake? Like a small body of water? And what do you mean by north way? (It's probably because I don't know anything about Luebeck.)
In the fifth paragraph, "Western cities were perfect for taking a rest, watching beautiful river." can be changed to "Western cities were perfect for taking a rest and watching the beautiful rivers." and "Also, the Qoln castle is one of the best attractions where German people pick as the best." is a bit of a run-on sentence. Try changing the ending to "is one of the best attractions according to the citzens of Germany."
The sixth paragraph, the first sentece has a
In the second paragraph, "which shows the separated Germany in the past." can be better understood like this " where Germany was once seperated into two sides." And "Everyone knows that Nazis invaded most of countries in Europe and slaughtered jewish people." Is a little blunt, but if you say something along the lines of "Everyone knows about the Holocaust, when German soldiers, "Nazis", slaughtered thousands of European Jewish families under Hitlers rein of power.", it makes you seem like you know a lot of information about the Holocaust. (I've studied German history and The Holocaust for a while now.)
The third paragraph, you spelled Hamburg differently in a few sentences, but it's probably a typing error. Also, the last 2 sentences can be worded differently to make more sense if you say "Hamburg is well known as being the second largest city in Germany as well as being a harbor-city. Since it is a harbor city, you are able to ride on boats and cruise ships where they show you the nightlife around Hamburg's famous places." (You don't have to change it like I said to, that's just how I would write it if it was my own presentation.)
In the fourth paragraph, it all seems good except there was a typo on the word Luebeck. And what is a lack? Do you mean lake? Like a small body of water? And what do you mean by north way? (It's probably because I don't know anything about Luebeck.)
In the fifth paragraph, "Western cities were perfect for taking a rest, watching beautiful river." can be changed to "Western cities were perfect for taking a rest and watching the beautiful rivers." and "Also, the Qoln castle is one of the best attractions where German people pick as the best." is a bit of a run-on sentence. Try changing the ending to "is one of the best attractions according to the citzens of Germany."
The sixth paragraph, the first sentece has a
I will help as much as I can. :)
Sure. Do you just want me to tell you if it sounds good?
Sure. Do you just want me to tell you if it sounds good?
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